radmad.ca

good god




i make good soup


got all beat up on my run
this morning
legs were screaming
for mercy
i gave none

gonna go to the one of a kind artsy show
and get motivated to do stuffs
of my own

but first
have to buy an andy worhol picture
for my wall

oh and get vitamins
so i can sustain my youth
forever

some guy near radmad clutches a handful of her hair
she spins around
"what did you just do?"

guys' brother responds
"he likes hair"

radmad says
"well he can't go around grabbing people's hair.
five bucks"

guy's brother... "what"

radmad: "i want five bucks, and for another
he can touch it again if he likes"



creepy?
yes


entrepreneurial spirit
opportunism
hairing herself out

yes
yes
yes

but she covered the cab ride
home

no really
you aren't seriously gonna eat
that bowl of green giant rubber madness
just called




they want my frozen green bean
with microwaved tofu
recipe

every five weeks
you gotta decide
should they stay

or should they grow

yeah
definately blurry



and fuzzier
than fake fur

yeah
disregard to fug pj's
two dogs under the sheets
gotta wear pants
know what i'm sayin?



threesome



with a side
of crazy leg cramp

wicked!

so why exactly do adults write kids books
why are kids not signing big book deals
and getting paid kazillions
to write kids books

i mean really
check out this little masterpiece


dug this up from my dad's place

get ready
for radmad's first book creation



a real page turner



what a nice blue hat
and how lucky
you have six legs

so why so sad little horsey?



nice big red lips there
duk
you must love to... er....

kids book
riiiiight



a black pig with a white stripe
sure
why not?



nice mohawk dog

boy not one conventional looking animal
how surprising

why are these animals so morose
and why did no one get little radmad
any psychological testing???

ha

it's okay kids
she turned out happier
than a black pig in

the barn

Children are the orgasm of life. Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them.


saw this on the lululemon website
kinda makes me want to have a kid
or ten thousand

or go to lululemon changeroom
and have an orgasm

ooooh you sneaky marketing people
ya got me

the books i ordered
have arrived



time to get crackin



open up new possibilities
new doors



grab life by the balls
and make things happen

how fun!

alas the christmas season is upon us
and once again
we get to listen to the bs
of people who complain
that they are called "Christmas parties"
and take issue with christmas trees being erected in public buildings
to the point where they are removed
and boy heaven for bid
Canadians continue to celebrate the holiday
we have been celebrating for years


while i believe strongly in equality
and respecting differences
i find it hard stomach vigilant political correctness
brought forth by people and groups
that are trying to change this country



excerpt from an email forward i received:

Bruce Allen is on the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Committee and new Canadians(specifically Hindi's/Indian's) want him fired for his recent comments outlined below:

"I am sorry, but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Hindi - enough is enough. Nowhere or at no other time in our Nation's history, did they sing it in Italian, Japanese, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German, Portuguese, Greek, or any other language because of immigration.
It was written in English, adapted into French, and should be sung word for word the way it was written.

The news broadcasts even gave the Hindi version translation which was not even close to our National Anthem.

I am not sorry if this offends anyone, this is my country"

i tend to agree with him
strongly

radmad says:
okay. so on a scale of 1 to 10... how would you rate a date where you are in an old movie theatre... the only ones watching the flick, back row, bottle of wine and the chick falls asleep? then you get home with said chick at 10pm and she falls asleep for 2 hours before you decide to drag her ass to bed cause you are done watching TV. OH and she farts in her sleep on the couch.

DANK!!!! says:
a fuckin 10

DANK!!!! says:
if it was bo derek and it was 1982

DANK!!!! says:
AND she had a wet t-shirt on

so i was in the power room
of a local establishment
last night
and see this nice little poster
on the back of the stall door

i think
what a great organization
raising money to provide children
with a healthy breakfast
so that they have energy and the proper nutrients to learn



and then i read closer
sit back
and quite enjoy the irony

so i'm about to send a little FYI email off

if anyones looking for a marketing
or editor job
at a not-for-profit
well you may just be in luck

i think literacy skills are optional





k
off now to buy stuffs
to make Country Italian Chickpea Soup
and i'm not even italian

oh
but i am a chick
and i guess you now know

i pea

me
and my fab boss
sat down with tv producers
last night
to brainstorm "reality show" idear


went well
trez
nothing set in stone
but a solid start
they wanted to know about my personal life
cause it may be part of the scripts
say what?

note to self
"get life

stat"




best dog ever
there should be a competition
cause she'd win
in the following categories...

best gracefully unassuming mooch
best spoon so tight that my person almost falls outta bed
best eat food nuggets in ever crevise of the appartment
best anti-social snob to yappy dogs who deserve it
best dog that won't fuk'n tire after a two hour walk
best buddy



finished paris collage
lovely

flowers are lovely too
tulips in NOVEMBER
oh hi global warming



does it have to be just one?

being single
to me

means
eating a mouthful of onions
and not running for gum



oh and it also means
eating the salad
right the fuk
outta the plastic



it also means sharing
yummy bites



with zee bitch

while sporting baggy army
pants



this is what being
an out of practice
relationship
retard

has led me to


oh and incidently
see those stems
in that there background...

flowers for me
from me

did a quick and dirty
last will and testament
before going away

just
in case







figured it is important
to get affairs in order
and make wishes clear

like who will take madison
my car
my money

donate my organs
and my hair to cancer

no burial
and no funeral
but an ash party

karaoke style of course



then i thought
that as my life changes
i would update it
as i acquire more things
assets
and i guess debt

and as the people in my life
come
and
go

and it would be like a
moving picture

of my life
until the end

it gets harder and harder
to keep this little e-sphere
of mine
going

when i can't
or won't
talk about work
or
boys
and by now
you're sick of the running

so i will say just this
the kings of leon concert
on friday night
was incredible
and the boy
standing next to me
was dashingly
handsome