radmad.ca

the group of quilters ARE discussing
whose husband can still get his needle up

OR

the group of quilters IS discussing
whose husband can still get his needle up

so andy barrie emailed me back to say
that they are not in a position to discuss
what other radio stations opt to air

and Karen Steele emailed me some carefully crafted template response

nothing yet from the Canadian Broadcasting Standards Council

i listened to the contest bit on the MIX this am
and they are now referring to "carneys" as
CNE workers

rezzzpect

circa 1986
i made a time capsule

the walkways around my house were being torn up
so as to be redesigned to be wheelchair accessible
the guys were laying down fresh concrete one afternoon
and i asked them to throw my creation below the surface
over the dirt

i used an old tennis ball container
back when they were tin

in it i put my picture
a clump of my hair
a food city flyer
michael jackson's thriller cassette
a barbie head
rocks from the garden
and some other stuff i don't remember

at the time
i thought that some alien people might find it
and i would be catalogued into their futuristic museum
with my own glass encased exhibit and tassled red rope barrier

All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it



so hanstar knows the lyrics to this entire song
and the reason i know this
is because i got her drunk last night
and she just started rapping it like a chic gangsta
down Queen street

Andy Barrie
Metro Morning Host
CBC Radio
125 million listeners/week



Good morning Andy,

I was given your email address by Ron S%*@#r. I know his daughter very well and they both suggested that I contact you regarding an issue that I feel you may find worth discussing or looking into.

The Mix 999.9 is currently holding a contest, throughout the duration of the CNE called “Carney Masterpiece Theatre.” The intro to the contest depicts “carneys” as having BO and, basically being, shall we say, less intelligent and socially adept than their listeners.

Below is an email that I wrote yesterday to Karen Steele the Program Director at Mix 99.9 and also forwarded to Lorie Russell, General Manager Sales. I have heard nothing back.

I am also aware of a handful of other people who have written them similar emails communicating their distaste. I have attached another for your review (albeit a bit more “colourful” than mine).

Anyways, I just thought you might be interested.

Thanks and kind regards, Sarah

happy 34th birthday

to one of my favourite people ever!

xo

radmad says:
i think i will need to go mattress shopping now. that fouton is killing me!

DANK says:
yea

DANK says:
time to grow up

DANK says:
lol

radmad says:
never!

DANK says:
sleep country canada....why buy a mattress anywhere else...?

radmad says:
i'm gonna call christine's batline.

DANK says:
hu?

radmad says:
christine magee

DANK says:
....

DANK says:
you confuse

radmad says:
christine magee is the fuk'n president of sleep country

DANK says:
WHO THE FUCK KNOWS THAT!!!!

DANK says:
you gotta get a job

radmad says:
dude. she's like that old guy that was the spokesman for harveys

radmad says:
or that guy for President's choice.

DANK says:
yea

DANK says:
except...NO ONE KNOWS WHO THE HELL SHE IS...



radmad says:
hey

radmad says:
do you know who christine magee is?

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
Sleep Country Canada?

radmad says:
that's right

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked say:
Woo!

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
Though I'm not sure I should be proud of knowing that one.

radmad says:
yes. you should. no prize though. sorry. you're getting married. that's your prize for the rest of your life!

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
Is she joining your Carnie Liberation Army?

radmad says:
i doubt it. although... maybe she could suit us all up in booties.

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
They'd never hear you coming.

radmad says:
and we wouldn't make a mess

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
Aw man! Bloodless revolutions are no fun at ALL.

radmad says:
oh there will be blood! we just take the booties off...

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
For some reason, my brain just flipped definitions on me and I suddenly envisioned an army with prosthetic asses.

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
Wrong booties entirely.

radmad says:
yeah. you're wierd. it's probably safe you have been scooped up.

www.kylemckeown.com/overlooked says:
...and you're CLEARLY the definition of sane.

radmad says:
yes. i run workshops.

Hello Karen,

I have stumbled upon some internet clatter concerning your radio station. Turns out, you guys are making fun of the Carnival people on the radio. I wonder, who is it that came up with this Brilliant plan of attack? I do a fair bit of work on the internet, as well I follow sports closely and read a lot of editorials, that type of thing. I always make a point of reminding writers when they have become lazy, or, even more sadly, when they have no talent.

Who works in your office, more specifically, who is it that came up with this rather insulting and tasteless angle.

Are most people really this creatively crippled? I mean really, I work in a fairly sterile technical environment and I could write circles around the monkey who decided that behaving like an asshole on the air would be a smart idea.

I wonder if it’s even cool by CRTC standards to mock and ridicule a person who is not up to your Stations obviously high scale of social success. Then again, The Mix is hardly pumping out musically intellectual material, but come on, that doesn’t mean you have to sit around like 12 year olds and demean people on the air. Funny thing, I don’t even flinch when I read about radio behavior like this, it is after all so much easier to cop out then to do a god job isn’t it. I mean really, can we the public honestly expect the employee’s of your radio station to actually display the talent and decorum they most certainly must brag about while they are drinking fancy drinks at the Brant Street Lounge after long day of making fun of socially retarded people.

Perhaps you can start playing clips off the popular “Bumfights” collection next. Maybe even starts a “Mix 99.9 Kicking the street people while they sleep” Olympics. It could be a real winner for you. Maybe even highlight those who are truly mentally ill as they will provide the most entertainment value, perhaps even lash out.

As for the Carnival workers, well, I live in Parkdale, I know many people that work hard for a low wage and raise kids and try their hardest. I would never think of ripping these guys apart they way your station is ignorantly doing it right now. Your pathetic little College Radio Broadcasting Diploma’s do not, have not, and will never provide you with the right to do so. Perhaps you should aim closer to home, perhaps you could expose the no talent rats at Mix 99.9 who came up with this atrocious piece of shit idea. You may be surprised to see what the ratings are like. Their might be more people out there that dislike crappy radio programming, and the walking A-list façade assholes that produce it on a daily basis.

Have a nice day. Craig


Thanks SJ, aka da judge ... radmad

merci raymi

for the link and the kickass letter

this is regarding my post below...

so apparantly
the only way to get things to happen
is for a mass hysteria of complaints

so if you are even remotely pissed

please send an email to

Karen Steele
Program Director
Mix 99.9
pd@mix999.com

and cc

Lorie Russell
General Sales Manager
mixsales@mix999.com

it doesn't have to be elaborate or long
just a short note indicating your distaste

oh
and mention your age
it will hit their "target market" button

so apparantly the "carney" banter was not
a one time thing

i just fired off this email to Karen Steele
Program Director at Mix 99.9

happy monday morning karen

_______________________________________________

Dear Karen,

I am 30 years old and have been a mix listener for many years, and now quite frequently on my long drive to work from Toronto to Oakville.

On two recent mornings, both last Wednesday and again today, I have heard the morning show hosting a contest called “Carney Masterpiece Theatre” at approximately 8:30am. I have to say, I have never been more embarrassed, disgusted or offended listening to the radio before. I like to think that I have a healthy sense of humour and am not someone who becomes offended easily, but I was actually so angered, that I felt the need to contact you.

I am not sure whether it was a scripted introduction to the contest or just the dj making his own comments, but he spoke of “carney” workers as having BO and other derogatory descriptions. Not to mention the whole premise of the contest depicting Carnival Employees as laughable, sub-par people. This is blatant stereotypical harassment. To demean and ridicule an entire group of people for the job they hold and how they seemingly look and talk is entirely offensive and unfair.

Anyone who makes an effort, despite the cards they may have been dealt or the way their life has unfolded, to try to earn an honest living and make what they can of themselves should be commended and not belittled.

Toronto of all cities, given our multicultural mix and diversity of people should be mindful and respectful of all individuals who live in or come to our city.

From what I understand, this contest is running through the duration of the CNE. I would like you to consider stopping the contest, effective immediately, given your responsibility for under section 3(1)(h) of the Broadcasting Act for the programs you broadcast, not to mention the high standards and level of professionalism and respect that the Mix aspires to in this city. Pending your response, I will be contacting the CBSC to conduct a full review of the content of these specific radio segments that have been aired.

Thank you in advance for your attention to this email. With kind regards, Sarah

i may be a dork on 4 wheels
but at least i didn't get passed
by an 80 year old on a bike

heh



or did i?

so the other morning i found a journal
while walking along the boardwalk

i brought it home
and curiousity caused me to read a page or two
it was written by what i think is a highschool male

in an effort to respect his privacy
i closed the book and kept it on my counter

today i took it to the post office
and placed it in the mail for this guy
who is obviously trying to deal with
the misery of dejected love, illicit passions and forbidden lusts

i left a note in the envelope with my email
so maybe he will write me
and i will suggest that he watch Cruel Intentions
listen to bittersweet symphony
and to keep a tighter grasp
on his profoundly articulate thoughts

that
or get a blog
because i think he was out of paper

i didn't know any of the jays that played



and i noticed that alot of the players are
old washed out dumpy looking haggards
i went to some of the rogers cup tennis
and those guys are lean athletic machines
but baseball players
not so much

if i was played a kazillion dollars a year
to perform a sport
i'd make damn sure that i was in top form



and besides

guys

you don't think the ladies in the stands
are paying to see big dumpy guys
who look like peter griffin in tightie whities

do ya?

i got really angry this morning



twice in the past week
i have listening to seemingly intelligent dj's
on different radio stations
be-littling carny workers



who the fuk are these pedantic blokes to judge

anyone who makes an effort
despite the shit they may have been dealt
or the way their life has unfolded
to be honest and make what they can of themselves
should be commended



to demean and ridicule people
for the job they hold
or how they look and talk
or their level of education
when there are so many people out there
that make every effort to be slothful
and live off the backs of others
makes me sick

i knew a man
too well unfortunately
who is ivy league educated with a legal degree
who used to bring in over $250k a year
until his lavish lifestyle surpassed his paycheque
and he turned to borrowing and what i more accurately would describe as
manipulating from the pockets of others close to him

anyways

i have more respect for carny workers
than half the underhanded bay street jocks up the street

okay i'm done

in other news

on monday night
i had to convince my gramps
that i'm not gay

just because the first person i bring
to a family event in like months

is a chick

so my work laptop has been freezing lots lately
and the IT guy i used to call is now an electrician

so i called this new guy i've used
once or twice

he offered to drive for an hour to my office
on his pseudo vacation day
to reload my entire system
so i dug out the cd rom hand labeled office xp++
and got dank to burn a flashy new version of billy gate's office
and i waited for him to come

so he arrives
after a shitty drive in traffic
only to tell me that i have two burned microsoft office's
and no operating system cd

fuk

so he gives me this look that almost made me wince
and turns around to leave

says he may come back next wednesday

oh
and did i mention
he had his 13 year old blind son with him

yeah

if someone has seen where i misplaced
my testosterone
can they please notify me

it would seem that overtraining
has done more damage to my innerds
than originally thought

after two months of rest
and back running on a moderate schedule for 6 weeks
my testosterone still ain't back where it should be

it's barely registering in my blood

which is strange
because i still have a sex drive
and a propensity to take on the role of the "guy"
when dating

as in
i probably won't call you back the next morning
and you sure as hell aren't staying over for eggs

just when you think the world is going to shit
and it's no longer easy to fly in a plane
or buy clean vegetables
or walk alone at night

the radio plays "free falling"
on your ride to work
and you think
shit
life ain't so bad

then you think about the one thing
you can't help but think about when you hear that song



tom cruise singing in his car
in a white shirt
and kickass smile

and then your thoughts turn
to his overnight swandive into wierdness

and you again ponder
how the world is turning to shit

you have to love the internet
no where else can you delve deeply
into the lives of strangers
or friends
or past lovers
and find out the intricacies of their daily happenings

i think for my own purposes
i will continue to maintain a level of secracy
and reservation



besides
when you are quiet

people always wonder what trouble you are up to

wink

k

i'm back

i was on vacation
literally
and figuratively
and pajoratively
and awesomely

me and some peeps went to an island
where we had to make like bears
and shit in the woods



that is the island
it is crown land
so freeeeeeeee



and there were 15 or so of us in the group
at different points during the weekend





and i drank enough booze to make sure i didn't dehydrate
out in the sun
oh wait




between three cameras
there are a kazillion shots of hannah and i eating smores
i just hope that each picture
ISN'T A NEW AND DIFFERENT SMORE



i committed only two illegal acts
while in the middle of fukn' no where



the first was paddling out in a canoe at night
pulling up to a big floaty jumping thing
in the middle of the lake
situated right in front of a lodge
and paddling crazily around it

so the lodge guy zooms out in a boat
to tell us to respect that it is not ours to play on
well how about understanding mister that we were
not playing on it
but rather storing our clothes on it
so we could strip down to our skivveys
and skinny dip swim 2 miles back to the island



the other thing i did
was pick lilly pad flowers
which is apparently illegal
bah
they looked perty in my hair



madison was adventure dog this weekend
when we were packing the car
she was onto us like a fat kid on a smartie
and was all like
"i know you bitches are going somewhere fun and outdoors
all weekend and if you think you are leaving without my ass
you are clearly mistaken and i will sit here on the driver
floor while you decide what bathing suit you are packing for me"



so the bitch got to come
and she saved me a hundred times while i swam

oh and dank has a picture of my boobs exposed
in the great rescue of the weekend
he is charging lots because they are nice





this shot i call "canine contemplation"



dank was a bully sometimes
and beat me up when i could barely stand as it was
i think that is like throwing a football at a kid with no arms
pure meanness



and we are all going back
to said island
for labour day weekend

'works' for me

ha
get it



the end

happy anniversary to me
i've been married to this spot in e-space
for 2 years now

i owe it to sj for telling me to start blogging
so he could watch hockey in peace



and to raymi
for linking me so i could
ride the coat tails of her immense popularity

and to me for being an immodest tart