radmad.ca

hahahaha
he looks so terribly uncomfortable

and i think elmo
has more body fat than posh



when i was a kid
i couldn't watch sesame street
it scared me
and made me feel all isolated and trapped

seeing only one human
surrounded
by all those furry dolls

freaky shit man

so joan jett head
over here





is going chez Duke's
after work





for a "Get Radmad a Fancy New Bike" adventure

i think that through my years
of research
and experience
and trial and error

i have narrowed down
my top three must-haves
in a relationship



1. chemistry

there must be sexual energy
an inexplainable connection
that creates passion, lust
and excitement

even after years together
it has to be there
sparks

perhaps not in the same dose
or strength
or potency

but it is key

even after seven years
with my once boyfriend john

we had chemistry

what we were missing
was the ability to communicate
which forms part of my number two must-haves

2. full-out honesty

this covers alot
it is communicating and sharing thoughts
even if they are not positive

but bottling shit up
will be of no good to anyone

anything can be said
if it is done so in a sincere
genuine
constructive and tactful way

most stuff can be worked out
if it is supposed to
and if both people have a vested interest
in making it work

honesty
also entails putting yourself out there
taking a chance
and allowing yourself to be vulnurable

i have to work hardest
at this one
but i get there

3. fun

you just have to enjoy being together
and laughing
and sharing experiences

not all the time

i am fiercely independent
which can be bad
but i think it keeps things exciting
and so does having common
and yet also very different
interests

oh
you're going out to buy a gizmo
for your thing-a-matron
that you will be taking
to boys weekend up north?

cool
i'm going to go start
a book club

dank and i were flipping through celebrity mags
a while back
leafing through page after page
of washed out
drunk or stoned
plastically enhanced
charged or incarcerated hollywood stars

and could not find one person
we actually had respect
for

until we hit the last page
a tiny pic in the right hand corner
johnny depp

together in unison
we sang out
"loooove him"

yup
finger and all

the depp
is
gold

so i am getting a new laptop
for work

thank gawd



and i figured i better
clean things up a bit on this ancient specimen



came across some oldies



from one of my best camping trips



vintage radmad c 2003

from when i first moved to toronto
to yonge and eligible
where i hated it

and that's why i moved
to crazy parkdale
where i loved it

i brought
my postsecret books



we laughed
and joked
about others' misery



nah
we didn't really


well
sorta not really
kinda

people can be so dramatic



i know she put it down
cause there were eight beers
empty



the estrogen was oozing

we went out and bought fake eyelashes
crazy red hair streaker
and girly mags

oh and whoppers



deanna
had the nicest house
i have seen
in a long time



i had a bathing suit on
then i had my clothes on
and only after that
did i go into the pool

dumb weather
couldn't make up its mind



so i tried to trick it
by changing clothes





oh and we also went to emma's
irish dance recital
so we could not watch her dance
on stage

good thing they didn't have mic stands

k
more on that later

weekend pics
coming soon

in the meantime



see my bike?

yeah
me neither

some dork stole it
right off my balcony

so i called the cops
to file a report

officer: when was the last time you saw it?

radmad: oh i dunno a few days ago

officer: which day?

radmad: ummm Friday maybe

officer: what time on friday?

radmad: well, i'm not actually sure it WAS friday
i mean it's like when you have a chair
on your porch
you don't really notice
it's gone
until you need to use it

officer: er okay

can you describe it?

radmad: yeah it's orange and white
blah
blah
mountainbike
cheap
blah



oh
and it has stickers
lots of them

the most prominent one says
um
pardon my french

fuk you you fuk'n fuk

officer: oh my

radmad: yeah sorry

we love ya girly

radmad is pleased to unveil
her Beijing Olympic logo

j-man has promised
to stick me around the fine city
when he heads over
to broadcast and report for CBC

he also just got word
that he's covering gymnastics
cool

much less gay than
his table tennis assignment

so anyways
the launch of all radmad olympic-related
promotional items
is coming soon

stay tuned


oh and apparantly
all Beijing restaurants
had to remove dog off their menu
and street meat vendors
aren't allowed to sell snake on a stick

yes
i know
riveting

all day long at work
"run out to get tampons
run out to get tampons"

too busy

on drive home last night
"remember to get tampons
remember to get tampons"

crawling into bed last night
dead tired
"fuk!"

tonight i'm going to this




and it is being taped
to be on TV
and i have a killer seat
in the first or second row

so you know

TV
and
me

again


yup
that's right


fun: knock knock

radmad: who's there?

fun: fun

radmad: WELL... I AM HOME

so
come
on
in!

in my humble opinion

as of late
the US has pretty much become
a roque menace
in the playground that is
north america

but on this revolutionary day
in the life of a baked goods junky

i do have to give them some credit
they have succeeded in masterminding
the latest craze
for me
and my fellow sweet tooth tarts out there

the frosting shot



no booze
no brazen liquid debautchery
just pure creamy heaven
in a shot glass



frosting shots


the new hangover

radmad's promotional director
was at it again



in addition to bumper stickers

now available...




boys briefs



and fridge magnets



*fridge not included

yes
it was pissing rain this morning



we went anyways
cause
well
that's how we roll



someone was a little tired
this morning



sadly

it wasn't me



in case we die en route
they know how old we are

i personally think it's more of a pick up
hot people our age
tactic

some people don't follow the rules though
a 50+ year old dude
was chatting me up during the bike part

i'm like
woah
back off mister

so
zooooooooooooom i went



we got tee's

i compromised mine
in the woods
to avoid a certain line-up

okay
for those who care

time - 1:38:26
2km run - 9:16
25km bike - 49:49
7km run - 36:44

padded shorts
would have been a good idea
as i bellowed out
in close proximity ear range
to a looker


radmad uncensored

went to the matinee
first one of my life
i think

7 outta 10
too long

heath ledger
two words

just wow



um hi

can someone please ask dude
for some fuk'n change
for the phone

okay we get it
its about chance

heads: enough already

tails: please die off soon


uh


oh

YES