radmad.ca

amateur improv comedy
is the absolute
complete
opposite
of fun




at first i hated the thought
of cleaning my appartment
then i just get off my ass and did it
and then i couldn't believe
how wonderful the smell of "outdoor fresh" was
and the i also couldn't believe how it made
what i thought was a gone
hangover bellyache
feel like a hundred times worse than i could have ever imagined




sit down sj
ya fuk'n cowboy

rolling credit to raymi
for the link
and then the lift

the end...

it is unfortunate
when one of your favourite bands
goes and changes their name to the gay Pilot Speed
and then proceed to fail miserably
as a headliner band

i lament for the days
when they played the Red Door in St. Kitts
and intimate simplicity reigned
over grandeur effect

and the singer
was unencumbered
and approachable
lacking the baggage that is his new
offspring

i'm almost half way through my book
that is 900 pages
i'm now at the point where i am completely
engrossed in the character's lives
i spent anxious moments at work
anticipating coming home to read more
i am now home
and have found other things to do first

like play beach frisbee

and soon shower the sand out of my bits


i downloaded Live's Throwing Copper album
it's okay though
i think i have already bought and lost
three copies already
so my dues have been paid

this is in my top three albums of all time
i never get bored of it

i will soon be bored of rihianna's umbrella
ella
ella

i had a dream that i had to do a keynote talk
in front of hundreds of people
about rewarding employees
and harrision ford was in the audience
and i made fun of him
no one laughed

the dream has still not buzzkilled
my desire to speak in pubic
one day



i washed a tub of sugar free ice cream
down the sink this morning
and chased it with a can of whip cream

i can't be distracted by empty deliciousness


there must be a funky duathlon race
approaching soon

must sign up



i thought briefly about the idea
of creating a calendar of my trysts
and one night stands
and lusts
of the past year

but then i wondered
what i would do for the other 8 months

i made my dad a colourful dinner
for dad's day

in all the excitement to eat
i forgot to take a picture
of said dad

tonight i munch the leftovers

oh and tapioca pudding
smothered with a mound of whip cream
is kinda like
the token white supremist dessert

i managed to accomplish 2 things today
that i have not done in at least one year

the first is get a hair cut
and the second is
run out of soy sauce

in fact i don't ever remember having bought
soy sauce
i'm thinking perhaps
that it was already in the fridge
when i moved in

you smell like a pretty summer day

i think we have become too complacent
too unaffected
too immune
too unaware
too impervious
and perhaps even a bit too desensitized

what will it take to inspire us again?

don't we all want goosebumps?

i think i will just end up leaving that reindeer
over the door
until next christmas

radmad says:
so what are you now on the facebook comeback tour... an encore perhaps?

Craig says:
sure!!

Craig says:
its secure now

radmad says:
maybe i should be a sleuth and determine who of your fans did not get a ticket to your return engagement........

Craig says:
heh

Craig says:
you did

radmad says:
yes. that's right.

Craig says:
ya well....for now

radmad says:
highschool called. they want your social life back!

Craig says:
thanks

radmad says:
you're like the fonz

Craig says:
totally

radmad says:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

Craig says:
jacques wonders why madison isn't cool enough to have a dogbook page

radmad says:
because all the boy dogs fight over her and she can't handle the stress.

Craig says:
i see

radmad says:
so. she wonders why jacques isnt cool enough to NOT have a dogbook page

Craig says:
he doesnt respond, he kinda chuckled and said "sad"...what he meant???

Craig says:
dunno

radmad says:
i'm fluffing, listening to corey hart and talking about dogs having facebook accounts. i think i have solved the riddle as to why i can't land myself a date.

Craig says:
yep

Craig says:
kinda tells the tale no?

radmad says:
well it ain't no cinderella kind of tale

Craig says:
nope

Craig says:
it never is assface

raymi la bijoux et radmad la tart

i could not go to work today



i did not sleep well last night
and well
and i had to canoe
past the beaches water plant this morning
as part of a strict recovery plan



i think the only thing
that can ensure i am cured
of a 24 bout of sleepiness
is to unravel my hammock
and lay low for a few hours

until the afterwork crowd
flocks to the beaches
and harley across the street brings over
the jew glue

more on that later

i'm having a hard time remembering
what work is









and it definately isn't this fuk'n grande
piece of corn bread



let me tell you

so i'm driving down queen
in my beaches hood
and i see guy

guy i've seen for a month or so
walking here
and there
and i'm thinking i should just
talk to guy next time i see him
and say "hey"

then i'm watching him
as he passes by some parked cars
and i see these god awful neon things
on his feet
neon fuk'n green crocs

nope
he's out.

he might as well have pulled out a teddy bear
and asked to cuddle
after sex

maddox circa last week



radmad circa summer 2006

you're on tv like twice
and already hollywood is asking
who's shirt you wear

hey little mad
grab your own style man
stop macking my threads

so i was on tv again today
this time interviewed by antony robart
on global morning news
about how i won't swim in the lake
at the beaches
because there is too much debree

i went on to further comment
that while not i will not be swimming in it
it will be nice to look at

unlike my unwashed morning face
and bedhead
that these reporters seem to keep catching on tape
and broadcasting across the city