radmad.ca

if a statue in the park
of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air
the person died in battle

if the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle

if the horse has all four legs on the ground
the person died of natural causes

black is my power colour

white is worn
with the presence of facial colour
either from the sun
or from the anticipation of blushing
like a school girl

one red skirt is worn
when the client is new
and assessing credibility

pastels are as infrequent
as a man without a wandering eye

if you ever see pink

just shoot me

today
was the first friday
of the next five months
of fridays off
for me

that's right
you can be jealous
and you can think you have a hotshit job
but it's not as hotshit as mine

so i dusted off the 'ol rollerblades today
and went for my first 57 min ride

radmad's ipod playlist pour h'aujourdhui:

girls just want to have fun - cyndi lauper
not ready to make nice - dixie chicks
when doves cry - prince (skipped...too slow)
rock me amadeus - artist unknown
violence - blink 182
don't phunk with my heart - black eyed peas
sweet child o' mine - gnr
my best friend's girl - cars
best of you - foo fighters (played twice - love this song)
la sirena - feist
closer to fine - indigo girls
boy in the box - corey hart (shut up, he's my boyfriend)
safety dance - men without hats

i only almost fell once
when a stick tried to trip me
scary shit

by summer's end
i figure
i should be doing some really sweet jumps



hey everybody
this is my friend's goat
samson

samson
this is everybody

sent via email this morning to 5 recipients -


Hey guys,

just wanted to send a quick note about tonight...

i will be arriving (with dank) at approximately 4:45pm.

it gets crazy busy around 5pm.

neaters and hanstar, not sure if you maybe want to go together...

i want your support and guidance tonight
to ensure that i do not engage
in any embarassing, regretful or dangerous activity.

you have all managed
to let me down in the past
in this department
and i have been put at significant risk
to be left for dead as a result.

if you let anything horrible happens to me,
i am never letting you karaoke with me again.

see you tonight mez amies.

radmad xo

All that we are is the result of what we have thought - Buddha



look out
i've been getting all reflective
again

that's the problem with spring
i go outside in the morning
pre-dawn
and the sky is a wishwash of blues
oranges
pinks and vibrant reds
and i start to think

i have been introduced to some new thoughts
new in that they have now been articulated
in a unique way for me
but not new in that
i am not ignorant of their premis

i am marvelled at what has been dubbed
the laws of attraction

in brevity
they propose
that our thoughts and feelings
send out frequencies
that attract like
and in such
shaping our events and interactions
with others

our thinking
essentially
creates our reality

perhaps this is why
when we are positive and hopeful
we attract people of the same mindset

or how when we seek independence
and non-commital solaice in our life
we attract those who are monumentally
unavailable to us

apparantly this looks like me


apparantly this looks like raymi




we adorn the walls
and still get grumpy service
every time the guy came by with drinks
which equated to at least 16 occurances
of grumpy service



"the bliss of a new friend is one of life's sweet treats"

mission accomplished
finished solid
in under 3 hours

with even a bit of energy to burn

all this after 3/4 bottle of red wine
the night before

i swear
i'm writing my book NOW
"How to Train Wrecked"

and just when i thought
my high for the day was at it's max
i come home to a myriad of balloons
on my front step




oh and the chalk finish line outside
on the road
oh and the chocolate lava cake
waiting for jen and i at Il Fornello
when we walked in

thanks neaters
you are the best!

and a big thanks to all of you
who supported me throughout
my training
it meant alot



and a big thanks to dank
for taking that shirt off pdq

so this is going to happen tomorrow
in hamilton
which is steel town
which means i will probably return with one less lung

anyways
i have been training for this race for months
it's not a full 42km marathon
or anything
it's only 30km
which is 10km longer than i've ever raced

and i have thoroughly enjoyed
being an anti-fun hermit dork for weeks
and i will be happy to break from my
shell of discipline

well kinda

i'm pretty sure the fuk'n endorphine monster is gonna
bite my ass
and send me right into the next marathon clinic

but before that happens
me and my biatches will be celebrating
over a bigass brunch tomorrow

ala

i found a good way to remember songs you liked
way back when
to download via bittorrent

go to the billboard music website
and surf the archives
that's how i found out
that i remember
i like staind

so i'm going to be making my toe callous bigger
on sunday
the pain is excruciating
even if only yet in my head
the pain is anticipatory
i know it's inevitable
but what i don't know
is when the fury will be unleashed

which is kinda like waiting for a friend to
"get you back"

k so wish me luck

and if you don't hear from me again
just say you "knew her when..."

any seasoned athlete
will tell you
that cross-training activities
are an essential component
of any successful training regimen

calories burned during sex... and other stuff

i caught dank outside a restaurant
with this guy
i fear they may be having an affair

if you want a good
read: phenomenal
piece of lasagna
let me know
he made it last night for mrs dank, me and hanstar
and there are leftovers
he's working from home today
and i'm sure would love company at lunch
so if you're interested in joining him
send me an email
and i'll provide the address
better bring wine though
apparantly the bottle he had last night
evaporated

i wouldn't necessarily call it fate
per se
but i sure do believe in checks and balances
at least in my own little existence

it has happened in the past
and it happens again

i have made myself a promise in life
that i will try the best way i know how
to remove toxic people from the forefront of my life

it's not like it happens often
but when it does
it is always a difficult decision and it is usually
for good reasons

if we call that the check
then the balance may have just arrived

that silly little facebook site
has reconnected me with one of my really good friends
from highschool
who i haven't seen in maybe 14 plus years

and we're going for dinner next week
to catch up

and that's a fukn' sweet balance
if you ask me

i made these

this whole personal presence on the internet revolution
is becoming quite interesting

with the onset of myspace
facebook
and google
i wonder how many people take the time to be
ummm
diplomatic
and think about what they write
and the pictures they post

i suppose it worked for paris hilton

but i'm thinking
that if i were going for a job
i wouldn't want to have to worry
about what my potential employer
could discover about me on the net

being googled
is the new reference check

so if i ever get stinking rich
i will buy the chef from Ruth's Chris steakhouse
and make him live with me



hanstar and i have decided
that the amount of fun we have together
is excessive
and should be made illegal in all 10 provinces
and perhaps even all 50 states



so then we get to the arena
and there was a mentally challenged guy
in a wheelchair
selling leafers flags for $5
and it was made of terry cloth
which i have to say came in very handy
for wiping up wine messness



and the leafs played well
and won
and asked me to join their team



i said ok
but first i have to go home
and eat an entire tub of triple chocolate threat haagan das ice cream

tonight hanstar and i
are going to ruth's chris for
crab filled mushroom caps
filet mignon



shrimps
fried mushrooms
creamed spinach
cheesecake
oh and errrr
wine

then we are going to the leafs game

if i were a guy
i'd say it's a pretty fuk'n perfect evening
steak and hockey
but i'm not a guy
i'm a chick
and i must say it's still pretty fuk'n close
to a perfect evening

oh and we will be celebrating life
spring time
tax refund on the horizon time and
most importantly
hans' new job as an ER nurse
where during her first shift
her goal will be to get for me
george clooney's autograph

radmad comes downstairs from



she's polished off a bottle and
is wondering how the fuk
she's gonna be up pre five eh emm
to run

why she's going to eat a ritter "sport" bar
of chocolate
and run like the wind

that's how

a friend of mine sent me this picture
it is from the world's largest aquarium



when i first looked at it i thought
ew big fish
but then i really looked at it
and i wondered
is that is what true love is?

lots of fuk'n fish in the sea
but one just stands out above all others

i hope so

cause i'm hopeful that one day
love will nibble on my bait

should i choose to launch my loor
again

i'm watching lost in translation
again
charlotte and bob are lying on the bed
monogamous
together
he utters in a near daze
you're not hopeless

the screen fades to black
and i notice the dust on my screen
i see something more in this
than another person might

sometimes
i wonder why
i think so much

i love that the clocks change this weekend
it means that spring is en route
which makes me feel all jovial
and giddy inside
i ran last night on the actual boardwalk
and not a sheet of ice
yet i still managed to find
and then slip on
the only one miniscule patch of ice
that remained



i completed a leadership assessment
last month
and was debriefed on the results yesterday
apparantly "what you see is what you get with sarah"
and
"sarah can be relied upon to push for
the best possible results and to deliver,
but at times will need guidance on how to do this
with out antagonizing other people"

then it goes on to give advice on how to "manage me"

"when necessary, counteract sarah's tendancy
to be insensitive and intolerant of less driven individuals
by setting some specific people focused goals and objectives.
Be prepared to explain why and to meet some resistance to them"

ha
reminds me of kindergarden
when michael gibbes budded in the bus line
so i gave him a raspberry ala wet tongue spray to the face
and got a note sent home that says
"can be insensitive and does not always get along well with others"

whatever
he shouldn't have budded

anyways
i'm not malicious
i'm more, shall we say
overtly assertive

i see it as a strength

all lazy fuks to the right
cause i'm passing hard on your left

read how radmad's alias "sarah"
provides some lofty tips to today's woman
on how to manage her budget more effectively

drink for free

so i'm sitting in traffic
because some chunk of ice
is perhaps
going to fall of one of the world's
tallest structures
meh whatever

then a Nazareth song comes on the radio
and not the satellite one
i can't figure out
but the one that plays a song or two
when it's not busy playing commercials
and
well
the song makes me think of heavy metal



which makes me think of some guy named howard
who had super long rocker hair
who i met when i joined my curling club



cause i used to curl competitively
during my teens
which is good information to know
if you are still trying to figure out just how dorky i am
and curling just happens to be
where i also met my first real boyfriend
joel

he was a curling skip
you know
the head honcho
the main man
so i guess it would kinda be the equivalent in today's terms
to like dating justin timberlake
hot

and then joel went to uni in newfoundland
to design boats
and then i met another curling guy
well there was some overlap
perhaps
and i kinda 'got to know' new guy
well cause he was local
ya know
but i did have some good phone sex with joel
i still had girlfriend duties to fulfill of course
then one day
joel came home from uni for christmas
and came over to see me at my parents house
for a makeout session
and found new guys' watch under my couch

or
was it the other way around

i dunno
i was 17 and a half
and it's not cheating if you are
not even finished highschool
and still live at home

i think i'm clausterphobic
but not in the physically distressful sense
i don't get all panicky
or start to sweat in nervousness
or get all twitchy
but
i do get overtly ancy
like i need to spin around a hundred times
and end in a beautiful rendition of the splits
you know
the kind where you gracefully slam down
legs widely dispersed
and then fly right up again to standing

between the shitass weather
and the insufficient fuel for my vehicle
i stayed housebound today
and then i couldn't run again because of the slippery when wet
bonjovi streets

for the most part
i'm a clutz



then there are times
when i am the anti-clutz
and can maintain my verticlocity
amidst the yank of a girl named gravity