radmad.ca

i'm pretty sure
that there are worse ex-girlfriends out there
than me

so tonight i will be attending
The T. dot Board of Trade's
annual black tie dinner event



apparantly there are 1200 guests
expected to attend

if you are one of them
then let me know
because i may get lost
and discombobulated amidst a sea of penguins

i will be the little tart
in the little black dress
amidst a sea of little black dresses

the speaker for the event
is Jim Balsillie
he's the Chairman and Co-CEO of Research in Motion
which is the company that brought us the blackberry

now this may be fun

i'm hoping that at least a handful of people
leave their blackberry on
so that they all go off while this guru is speaking

oh the irony that awaits

and i'm also thinking that there's gotta be
a few people who might
be interested
in coming back to my place for a post-party karaoke jam

meh
i'll just throw the idea out
and see who bites

how to have too much fun in the snow

by radmad



get yourself some fancy runner's snowshoes



round up your kickass friends



and head up north



then
check your busy schedule
to see when you can go back

so dank and i
had a heart to hart
discussion about why i am
not currently in a relationship
or even looking to be in a relationship

and my reality is that
while i enjoy having a boyfriend at my side
and sharing life and love and laughs with him
i am also fiercely independent
and enjoy being on my own
and right now i am enjoying being single

i am a free spirit
free to flit around here and there
and go out on a whim
or stay in and be busy with my own idiocy

i don't have to answer to anyone
or compromise
or pretend to be in a good mood
for the sake of maintaining someone else's sanity



dank asked me to list the things
i would look for in a partner in crime
and i believe physical chemistry to be number one
you just can't argue with nature
followed by intellectual stimulation
and challenging
he has to keep me on my toes

i'm not adverse to the prospect of being with someone
i just guess what it comes down to
is that there will come a day
when i meet someone
and i want to see him tomorrow
and the next day
and that night
and always



well enough about me
i can't lie
there IS a new man in my life
neaters introduced me to him



his name is mike

he's tall
dark
and doesn't say a damn thing
unless i'm speaking into him

some people
are like slinkies
useless
but fun to push down the stairs

the rest of my weekend
will go undocumented

to protect the identities
of those who crossed my path

himerus says:
were you waiting for me?

radmad.ca says:
no.

radmad.ca says:
just started eating lunch

himerus says:
oh

himerus says:
mmmm lunch

himerus says:
I am going to eat "crispy beef" today......

radmad.ca says:
what that?

himerus says:
it's thin strips of beef deepfried and covered in a sweet coating 

himerus says:
mmmmmmm

radmad.ca says:
holy fuk. sounds soooooo not good for you

radmad.ca says:
it is now angering me that you are winning our fat war. i run 50+ km per week, eat salads for lunch and veggies for dinner and YOU lose the weight

himerus says:
LOL

radmad.ca says:
Pardon me while i knaw on a celery stick!

himerus says:
I can't gain any more weight

radmad.ca says:
you can gain the 10 back

radmad.ca says:
but you've probably got a fuk'n tape worm that is consuming half the shit you eat.

himerus says:
i wish!





radmad.ca says:
i'm gonna swallow one

radmad.ca says:
and hope the little guy likes crown and diets

so if you do the math
dog walkers make a killing

suppose they take 5 dogs on an hour walk
at ten dollars per dog
that is $50 cash per hour
and suppose they take 4 groups of dogs per day
that totals $200 per day

and if they work five days per week
that is $1000 cash per week
and four grand cash per month

jesus

i work with the senior management teams
of national corporations
that are comprised of five educated, experienced, professional leaders
and each of them pulls in a different direction
in a disjointed attempt to make a decision
to move forward

it would seem to me
that i am qualified
to make a living
as either a consultant
or a dog walker

okay
i am having an "Open-Mic" karaoke night
this friday
if you want to come and sing
then please do

i probably won't be serving food this time
but you can bring a cake

oh
and if no one shows that's okie
cause i will just go out somewhere to lament
or just stay home alone and sing lots


in which case
i apologize lots to in advance
to my neighbours


either way

fuk it

i'm gonna have some fun

himerus says:
we are star crossed lovers her and I.  it requires just a change in the wind and we'll be blown together

radmad.ca says:
that kinda shit excites me

himerus says:
what kinda shit?

radmad.ca says:
the excitement of a new lover

radmad.ca says:
or the possibility of one

radmad.ca says:
"if you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking"

radmad.ca says:
i want that on my grave

radmad.ca says:
except with a mantra like that, i will die a lonely old sod

dank's hot wife
has officially never taken a bad picture
and i've tried very hard
to capture one
rest assured when i find one
i will expose it for the world to see

just don't go holding your breath now

here i found another one

it's days like today
where someone has to remind us
because i think we forget
or perhaps we never really knew
but who exactly is it
that we are expected to trust
and look up to
in the world we live in today

cause i think all of the good ones may be gone

last night was dinner for himerus' birthday
at a steak house in north TO
and according to my training schedule
it was my night to not drink

so instead
i drank too much

to the point of ultraintoxication

which turned into me sleeping allll day today
except to get up at 4pm
to
you know
run 21 kilometres or the distance of a half marathon
and now it's 7pm
time to go back to bed

but not before i write the first paragraph
of my new book
it's gonna be called "Train Wrecked"
a guide on how to maximize your running workouts
after a night of binge drinking

coming to a bookstore near you

radmad.ca says:
so they didn't want my blood

Agent Zero says:
why?

radmad.ca says:
they need iron levels at 125.. mine was 120.

Agent Zero says:
ohh, sorry

Agent Zero says:
get yer blood type?**

radmad.ca says:
NO. FUK

radmad.ca says:
i need to find a plan B now. heh

Agent Zero says:
sorry about that lovely

radmad.ca says:
but they did let me take 2 oreos for my efforts

Agent Zero says:
call your dad and ask him to look at your birth thingy

radmad.ca says:
but i felt all bad because they were unearned

radmad.ca says:
i took them anyways though!

Agent Zero says:
you deserved them,

radmad.ca says:
i agree. i walked 20 mins in the rain

radmad.ca says:
and let's not even get into the whole rejection thing...

Agent Zero says:
i wanna have sex with one of the chicks on the raptors dance pack...hahahaha

**my plan
was to find the easiest way to determine my blood type
research indicates
that for maximum health and well-being
people should eat foods
according to their blood type
and fuk if i know mine
so i figured donating
was the easiest and quickest
way to find out

apparantly

this has not been the case

okay
i'm off to donate blood now
for the first time
ever

i'm thinking i better ask them
to not take the whole amount
cause i'm not quite done
my period

oh and they better have some good ass cookies
for after

my favourite smell
is the one that reminds me
of another time

sometimes trying very hard
to make your life as simple and carefree as possible
creates its very own unruly complications



i made an appointment to give blood
for the first time
this Friday

in very exciting update news
my big person queen bed arrived today
but not only did it arrive
but it arrived 20 mins before
the annoying three hour window of waitness

so now it's all made up
with crisp new sheets
a freshly bounced duvet cover
and fluffy pillows

i even designated a little section
with a blanket and toys
for my bitch

and i have proceeded to walk past my bedroom
about 13 times to make sure it's still there
and not just a dream

and it couldn't come on a better day
after enduring a 19km run this afternoon
followed by a long hot shower
i may even have to shave my legs for this

and today is officially day one
of a completely uncompromised
virginal bed

perhaps tonight
i should release a pure white dove to the sky
while angels sing from on high

so hanstar and i



are finally hooking up for a night of fun
first dinner
then to the Drake
to terrorize young fancy lads

given that i am almost 31
i suppose it's time i start thinking
of getting a full time boyfriend

perhaps i will work on this
the clock is ticking folks
i need to start thinking about settling down
making babies
dipping my genes into the great pool
becoming responsible for someone other than myself



you know
grown up stuff
that seriously stresses me out
and makes me want to forget i even had this fleeting thought

nothing tastes as good
as being skinny feels

himerus says:
i redid my tank last night....looking good...anxious to add more fishies

radmad.ca says:
fish are dumb

himerus says:
so are roake addicts that squander an opportunity to sing with me

radmad.ca says:
WHY I NEVER...............

himerus says:
you most certainly did

himerus says:
it is not an insult that will be forgotten easily

radmad.ca says:
don't judge me fatty

himerus says:
what should i judge you tubby?

radmad.ca says:
okay now i'm crying inside.
somewhere in the depths of my evil core there are tears

i will tell you who the great beneficiaries
of north america's obesity epidemic are

the soap companies

people are getting fatter
and fatter
yet the fuk'n bars they sell
keep shrinking down in size

when looking at this picture
i know you might be thinking
that i'm like a professional singer
or something

cause clearly i have the moves
and the passion in my eyes
and the style of a musical artist

but unfortunately you would be mistaken
because quite frankly
i can't sing worth donkey poo



ooohp
can i say poo on here?


in other news...
only 5 more sleeps
till i get my big person bed

now normally
i would switch over my fouton mattress
about 3 times a week
so as not to be consistently sleeping
in utter concaveness
but the past few days
and until the boys with the booties
bring it by
i will leave it
so that i am hating it more that humanely possible
so i will love my new mattress
soooo much
that i hibernate on it for a year

or maybe just the rest of the weekend
cause then i have to go to work on monday