radmad.ca

thanks for the sending the jpeg file.

I have forwarded it to the printer downstairs and will be distributing copies at work, Ki tonight, lesbian watering holes, downtown pubs, fire halls and local animal shelters. I'm sure this year you'll have your best turn out EVER!!!

Count me in.

Cheers and thanks for the invite.
Anita ... aka dikey version of sarah

let me tell you a little story

i need to be constantly stimulated
it's true
and if i'm not
i find something that will
i run yeah because it makes me healthy
but also because i get a runner's high
when i finish
and it lasts for a few hours

in the summer
when i couldn't run due to overrunning
i guess i kinda OD'd on endorphins
heh
i drank lots
and i started drinking coffee
americanos
from the starbucks at the end of my street
cause the coffee got my heart rate all high
and my body all jittery
and i liked that



so la la la la
i drank a coffee every day
then i start reading about how bad it is
blood pressure, cardiovascular, cortisol levels bla bla

so i stop drinking it

but that was okay cause i started running again

but i missed the habit of getting a coffee

so now i read in women's health and all these running mags
that it enhances speed and endurance
and really has a minimal impact on health
if drank in moderation
so i'm all shit yeah
cool

and i start drinking it again

THEN
i learn that the fuk'n splenda i've been adding
has a glycemic index of 80
which is pretty much as bad as eating sugar

so then i add stevia to my coffee
which is a natural sweetener with no calories
or carbs or glycemic index count

and now coffee tastes like crap



moral of the story is...

drink tea

and ignore radmad's long posts
just stick to the short ones

the lost in translation
soundtrack
may just be the best
soundtrack
ever



oh and last night
i had blue october's "hate me"
on repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat

DANK says:
i have some rather shocking news

radmad.ca says:
what?

DANK says:
someone you know

DANK says:
has....disappeared

radmad.ca says:
who

DANK says:
and a ransom note just showed up

DANK says:
i cant say

DANK says:
you'll just have to read it yourself...

radmad.ca says:
ah fuk. who took my bitch?

DANK says:
dasteredly

DANK says:
WORSE

DANK says:
WAY WORSE

radmad.ca says:
where is this note?

DANK says:
it's shocking

DANK says:
VERY

DANK says:
and graphic

DANK says:
so dont be scared




radmad.ca says:
oh yeah the weiner

radmad.ca says:
i think that is more like a "something" though

DANK says:
i have not seen it in days

DANK says:
THAT IS COLD!

DANK says:
cold weiner talk

DANK says:
poor wiener...

DANK says:
so you gonna PAY???

radmad.ca says:
hahahaha

DANK says:
this is pretty serious

radmad.ca says:
nope. there is a hamburger.

DANK says:
poor wiener

radmad.ca says:
guess ya didn't know about the hamburger

radmad.ca says:
as if taco needs ANOTHER weiner!

DANK says:
too true

DANK says:
i mean

radmad.ca says:
that's a pretty funny picture.

DANK says:
WHO???!!!

DANK says:
doesn't look a thing like taco...

DANK says:
.....

DANK says:
at all

DANK says:
BUT there is hope

radmad.ca says:
and i find it ironic that taco wants anything that is UNmarked!

DANK says:
i negotiated down from 10K to a 2003 SV 650

DANK says:
blue though

DANK says:
so you better start looking

DANK says:
ok

radmad.ca says:
you were just dying for me to come online weren't you?

i was torn
between feeling angry
and wanting my coffee
within 15 minutes of arriving for brunch
and feeling sympathetic to the fact
that she seemed to be having a bad day


i had pomegranite for the first time last night

dear mom,

that coat you make me wear
you know
the one with the furry hood
yeah well
i hate the fuk'n thing

love madison

there once was a girly name radmad
for her, running was no fad
in chocolate she'd delight
'till her panties were tight
and so now, she runs scantily clad!

i think i may have schnookered myself this year



every christmas i get a kick ass bonus from my boss
so every year at this time
i always happen to find stuff i like
and say i'm getting it for myself for christmas
and so far this year
under my tree
for me
i will have
a pair of running snow shoes
new karaoke cd's
a nice new hair cut, dye job and 18 inch hair extensions
and a lululemon jacket

so the other day my boss suggests
that instead of just giving me money this year
she would like to get me something special
that will make me think of her
(we've worked together for 7+ years and she's like a big sister
so this isn't some weird, gross thing here)
and asked me for ideas

so all i'm thinking is holy fuk

i hope i kept my receipts

if one more person asks me
if that was really avril
who commented on that last post
or someone just fukn' with me
i'm gonna scream

cause i'm all alone in an empty office right now
and that will definately have the impact
i was looking for

i am a good driver

there were two accidents on route
to work this morning
which meant an hour and a half drive
so i sat on the cell phone talking
and i officially have no recollection
of my drive
i just did it

i am an unconsciously competetent driver

perhaps i should start a driving school

himerus says:
explain a great mystery to me

radmad.ca says:
k

himerus says:
how is it, that someone as physically attractive, vivatious, outgoing, self confident, and often drunk like yourself not gittin' it

himerus says:
perhaps you just don't kiss and tell....

radmad.ca says:
by choice

himerus says:
but i would think that you would attract such a bevy of boys that one, at least one, would strike you fancy

radmad.ca says:
yeah. but then i think about having to deal with the whole roll over and see him in the morning and then i loose my "urge".

himerus says:
lol

radmad.ca says:
i should bottle it and call it rabstinence

himerus says:
LOL

himerus says:
you are a dandy madam

himerus says:
should I ever find myself in your bed, i will be sure to part before you wake

himerus says:
look for me boiling your eggs in the kitchen or something

radmad.ca says:
now if i could only get that guarantee at the bars.

himerus says:
LOL

himerus says:
you are like the anti-woman

thank you for visiting
and enjoy your stay

i figured i best wait a good 24 hours
before talking about karaoke again
but the fuk'n internet is too convenient
and my visa has too much space
cause i kinda purchased 150 more songs
and these are kinda my favourites
of the bunch
that i can't wait to be delivered to my door


When Doves Cry
Prince

Don't You Want Me
Duets/Human League, The

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
U2

Fast Car
Chapman, Tracy

Down Under
Men At Work


West End Girls
Pet Shop Boys, The

Smooth Operator
Sade

I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Meat Loaf

Unbelievable
EMF

Nothing Compares 2 U
O'Connor, Sinead

Step By Step
New Kids On The Block

Ice Ice Baby
Vanilla Ice

Baby Got Back
Sir Mix-A-Lot

Smells Like Teen Spirit
Nirvana

Gonna Make You Sweat
C & C Music Factory

Mary Jane's Last Dance
Petty, Tom & The Heartbreakers

Hard To Handle
Black Crowes, The

Shiny Happy People
R.E.M.

Groove Is In The Heart
Dee-Lite

Cornflake Girl
Amos, Tori

Africa
Toto

Closer To Fine
Indigo Girls, The

Pump Up The Jam
Technotronic

Drive
Cars, The

Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Queen

Paradise By The Dashboard Lights
Meat Loaf

Breakfast At Tiffany's
Deep Blue Something

Sweet Child O' Mine
Guns N' Roses

hmmm
i think *cough* i may *cough* be
coming down *cough* something
and may have to stay home *cough* today

oh and dank found me the creme de la creme
off ebay
and once it is in my hot little hands
it shall be unveiled

i am now well on my way
to becoming a pirate



having now completed the prerequisite course
required to build my first plank



i can now move to phase II of my training
which is mastering the 'argh'
i believe this course is offered
through correspondence
so completion will be quicker
as i now won't have to drive to the sea
every Tuesday night for class

graduation is anticipated in the spring
of 2007

ATTENTION




Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking and sexy people.

You will be safe, i'm just writing to say goodbye.





duly noted as the my favourite email forward ever

so i got bored one night last week
and my christmas lights are still up
from last year
so i couldn't do that
and it wasn't america's next model night
so i couldn't watch that
and the pooch has been recently bathed
so i couldn't subject her to that again
and i gave myself a pedicure last month
so instead of doing something constructive
like getting my silkscreen venture
off the ground

i did this


and i haven't even started to feel
upset
or shameful
or insecure about the fact that i have no friends
because despite having altered HTML
to fuk with some chick's template
i can't figure out how to add people
and even if i did
i wouldn't know who to add

i am so 1998

so me and j-man
j-man and i




will be starting a half marathon clinic tomorrow night
i'm not sure if he knows yet
but i'm forcing him to follow the 30km schedule with me

and thanks jeff for linking me on your bloggy blog today
with that horrific picture
although i'm sure the part of me
that you don't see in that picture
will be your view on most of our runs
heh

i'm wondering if there is karaoker's anonymous

cause i think i may have a problem



i'm now trying to get the dogs to sing with me
cause i figure
it's not yet considered a treatable "problem"
if it's before 5pm
and you're not singing alone

update on the "biggest loser" competition...

himerus = cris = the competitor

radmad.ca says:
i just ate a lemon tart. FUK



himerus says:
was it good?

radmad.ca says:
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
DAMN YOU LEMON TART. AND YOUR LITTLE BROTHER THAT REMAINS HERE TOO!

himerus says:
I bet that that little lemon tart is so lonely in your stomach

himerus says:
poor little guy, never been seperated from his brother

radmad.ca says:
this fuk'r is like 10 pounds. it ain't little. it's the size of a B cup

himerus says:
perhaps he should have a buddy system going

radmad.ca says:
you want it? perhaps i could fed ex it. same day.

himerus says:
sold!

himerus says:
no!

himerus says:
I can't seperate the twins...

radmad.ca says:
DAMN YOU

radmad.ca says:
fuk it. i'm gonna take it to the garbage bag in the sky

radmad.ca says:
dude. were are pathetic. we are talking about tarts.

radmad.ca says:
life is too short to talk about tarts

himerus says:
but they are so sweet!

radmad.ca says:
and so gone. i just ate most of the other one. i have to go to bed and cry now.

this is radmad's five hundredth post



today
and today only
the first 15 000

er

15
visitors
receive an authentic radmad seat cushion!

radmad thanks you for your continued support
and hopes for another strong season
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO radmad!

i was driving home last night
in the rain
stopped at a red light
ready to make a right onto almost my street
and the raindrops were hitting my windshield
and there were lots of them
so i started to wonder if there is anything
in this world that has happened as many times
as there are raindrops falling
and i thought of some things like
number of times people in the world have said the word "and"
or number of times all hummingbirds everywhere
have fluttered their wings
or the number of buttons
that have been sewn on dress shirts
or number of times every man on this planet
cumulatively
has thought about sex




yeah
that might be the one

when girls get together as a group
the do things like drink coffee
shop in little boutiques




enjoy little truffle chocolates



play nice with animals



talk about playing cards
and then not play cards
eat onion soup
make plans to get together again
bake beautiful turkeys



sit in a circle
laugh and share stories
enjoy dry red wine and reisling whites



go to bars
and smirk at the irony of
cougars who wear army fatigue jackets



oh and talk about lasering our poonanis

so mon amie cris and i started a competition
to lose weight
me
because i wanna run faster - 10 pounds
him
because he's an ilalian who is working on his phD
and hangs out with mice for hours a day
and somehow thinks an extra 20 pounds
is what is keeping him from macking the chicks

so alas
we have til jan 1
and we are still in deliberations over the final prize
but it will be good
cause i don't give up candy and booze for nothing


oh wait
i DON't give up candy and booze



himerus says:
multiple people at telling me that 20 lb in 2 months is unhealthy

radmad.ca says:
yup.

himerus says:
so why you want me to do something that is bad for me?

radmad.ca says:
you will loose your weightage. i won't. but you will die. so i get the prize.

radmad.ca says:
am i evil?

radmad.ca says:
because i've had multiple people tell me that

himerus says:
i knew you had a contingency plan!

radmad.ca says:
yeh so are you gonna still try for 20lbs. because personally i dont' think it's that bad.

radmad.ca says:
that's only an average of 2 pounds per week. and well... apparantly you lost that in a day!

himerus says:
I know, i was saying the same thing

himerus says:
the challenge is on madam, I will not kneel before the likes of your evil, callous feet

radmad.ca says:
yeah. i need a pedicure



k
now i'm off to ellicottville in NY
to sit in a ski chalet with 4 other chicks
eating a post-canadian / pre-american
thanksgiving dinner
trimmed with wine, pumpkin pie
and i think one of the biatches made cookies

damn her for thwarting my efforts

is there some sort of club i can join?

one with a secret decoder ring perhaps?


anita says:

Me knows cara butler
cara was a choreographer for the movie "the devil's own" with brad pitt
brad pitt acted with tom cruise in interview with a vampire
tom was in young guns with keifer sutherland
who was in flatliners with ...

Kevin Bacon

that's five degrees for me baby ...
and guess what - that makes six for you



that's right