radmad.ca

this is one heck of a pretty tree

"Sometimes when I reflect back
on all the wine I drink I feel shame.

Then I look into the glass
and think about the workers in the vineyards
and all of their hopes and dreams .

If I didn't drink this wine,
they might be out of work
and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself,
"It is better that I drink this wine
and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy

okay
so i'm going to be busy
which means
that if you would like to schedule
some quality time with me
you had better do so quickly

Sun april 23 - MS Walkathon
Sun may 7 - Sporting life 10k
sun may 14 - mississauga 1/2 marathon
sun may 28 - ottawa 1/2 marathon
sun june 4 - becel 50km bike for heart

oh and fitting nicely in there
is my spring fling party

details coming soon....

being on page 689
of a 727 page book
that she has been reading for over a year
is a very thrilling time
in a young girls' life

thrilling yet distracting

i take it into the washroom
i read while drying hair
while eating
while tying my shoes
while propping my eyes open late at night in bed

the last 100 pages of this book
are to be quite honest
the most thought-provoking
and "i know exactly what you are saying
but wish i could have articulated it like that"
pages i have ever read



then i got the urge to go book shopping
on the weekend
cause now i'm in a mode
to read

you really do tend to forget how gratifying
and stimulating reading is

what will all that e-porn and all

meh
it will still be there when i get done

"every form of happiness is private
our greatest moments are personal,
self-motivated,
not to be touched

the things which are sacred or precious to us
are the things we withdraw from
promiscious sharing"

ayn rand

bye bye
cookie cutter
fm dial radio

go here

and tell em
radilly madilly sent ya

i'm making a wee investment
tomorrow

i can't watch the gilmore girls
they stress me out
i have to sit on the edge of my seat
tune out all outside noise
and distraction
just so i can follow along
i honestly don't think
that my brain processes
as fast as those broads talk

i'm thinking the network
needs to give them more air time
just so they can slow the fuk down

what could be more appropro
than a gay guy
hosting a "broadway musical" themed party?

it's friday
it's on church st
where else?

i have my garb

what could be more fun than being a bride?

pretending to be a bride i'd say



ala...



tonight i concoct the veil!

wood





james wood(s)
woody woodpecker
how much wood could a wood chuck chuck?
he has a woody
woodrow wilson
wood you like to dance
natalie wood
jethro tull's songs from the wood
hollywood
would radmad like another glass of wine?

why yes she wood

7 crown and diets total
3 of which were doubles
so that kinda makes 10

no hangover

i'm getting into the electrolyte sales business
for real

GET OUT OF MY FRIDGE

it's amazing
the shit that emerges
from in between your teeth
when you floss

i wonder
what makes a person want to be a denturist
isn't that kinda like
being the janitor of the dentistry field

12 seconds!



this is the purple rocket junior
he's like the quiet guy at a party
sits in the corner of the room
you think there is something wrong with him
maybe
but give him a hard whisky
or a dd battery
and he wins you over with his charm
in 12 seconds flat

hard to believe
yes
i think i need to do some additional time trials

once a cowgirl



always a cowgirl

radmad

mind your fuk'n business
will ya

fuk you anne geddes
for not making me famous

...then we're pretty much good to go

i just did a spin class
with Ron Mclean

he was sweaty

i don't think there is anything
quite as erotic and seductive
as lying in bed
eyes on the ceiling
in panties
with a dim candle flickering against bare walls
listening to jeff buckley
whisper hallelujah to only you

enjoy with a bowl of cornflakes
or along side a western omelete
any way you take it



start your day
the Sharpie MAGNUM way!

i'm making a fancy feast for my girls
on saturday night
a carb-infested gorge
to get ready for sunday
but i insist on fresh, homemade, whole wheat
pasta

i was gonna go to the st. lawrence market
buy my wonderful friend dank


offered to make me some all by himself

he also offered up this picture
circa 1996



below is the commentary:

radmad says:
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. nice shirt dork

DANK says:
lol

DANK says:
you are not in awe?

DANK says:
as in...you are standing in the colliseum?

radmad says:
i think if you tried a bit harder you might have been able to jack those pants up at least 2 inches higher!

radmad says:
i haven't even looked at the colliseum yet!

DANK says:
whatever

DANK says:
WHATEVAHHHH!!!!

radmad says:
i'm too busy cropping and saving to my files

DANK says:
you are secretly jealous

radmad says:
you're right. i'm jealous cause that chick on your shirt is kissing a hot guy!

DANK says:
the shirt is cool

DANK says:
IT ISSSSS

DANK says:
or was

DANK says:
that was like 10 years ago

radmad says:
are they elastic cuffs on those pants?

DANK says:
LOL

DANK says:
yea

DANK says:
so...

DANK says:
they are SOCCER PANTS

DANK says:
and i was in europe

DANK says:
during the world cup

radmad says:
did you get beat up wearing that shirt?

DANK says:
i was pretending to be a player to get chicks in rome

DANK says:
NO!

radmad says:
I would have sent one of my friends over to beat you up i think

DANK says:
better send a few

radmad says:
i just zoomed in... is that 2 GUYS on your shirt.



DANK says:
nope

DANK says:
guy/girl

radmad says:
it's hard to tell really.

DANK says:
yea ... so.... GUY GAL!

DANK says:
dass what i say

so i went to a sports doctor
the other day
he said lots of interesting things
about my training schedule
and strength of my glutes
and choice of runners
and well...

that i'm 5"5 1/2' tall
that's a whole inch and a half
taller than i've been thinking for years

i didn't believe him
so i made him re-measure
and make sure my poofy hair was pushed down

sure enough
i'm that tall

this is where i'll be
whilst most of you fuk'rs
are still between the sheets

reeling in the fun
and fantasy of a night
of binge drinking
smoking
snorting
inhaling
or whatever

if you want to be at the finish line
waiting for me
with a hot chocolate and balloons in hand
i won't be upset

i think i'm becoming a stereotype
once i hit 30 some clock started ticking
or it might be the heart murmer that
two separate doctors have heard
i've had it checked out though
seems to be okay
i won't die

but mortalty becomes more of a consideration
in life
and so does using cream that tightens skin
and protects from sun
and it works
i was at yoga for the first time in a few weeks
and while doing a downward dog
it felt like someone was reaching their hands
from behind by head and pulling the skin
on my face back
would seem the fuk'n cream might just be working



i don't want to be a stereotype though
i want to be like madonna and reinvent myself
a hundred times



so i set goals now
and achieve them
failure has never really been a part of my grand scheme
in fact
lack of failure has started to haunt me

like when i was 15 or so
i was sitting on our green toilet
and remember a vivid thought
amongst the chaos of highschool life
i've got it pretty good
a nice house, fun friends, married parents, a kind sister etc.
so i started to wonder what will fall apart
something has to
it's the rule of checks and balances

so sure enough
just as i had thought
my mom is diagnosed with MS
then breast cancer, then brain cancer

i'm there again
at a point of pending fear
that something out of my sphere of control
is gonna happen

but alas i will forge ahead
and in the next month or so
hope to continue to beat goals
and even start up my own company on the side
it's been in the works for over a year now

i just have to make it happen

a client came in yesterday
and brought his assistant
she told me her name
and in about the same amount of time
it takes to say "nice to meet you"
i had forgotten it

but ask me to recite a soliloquy
from shakespeare's As You Like It
from grade 10...

and now my comates and brothers in exile
hath not old custom made this life more sweet
than painted pomp
here feel we not the penalty of eden
the season's difference
and the churlish chiding of the winter's wind
which when it bites
and blows upon my body etc.

... no problem