radmad.ca

a pretty artiste
namedraymi
created this masterpiece



for the valentines festive season

shop early


buy it now!

i fuk'n bent over and bit off
my "this little piggy had none" toenail
and now i have to walk with a limp
and wear a bandaid



and yeah so it's not always about class

radmad is shy and quiet
at family christmas dinners
she blushes easy
and everyone is hoping
she comes out of her shell



she is a gameboard nazi
that jumps around and screams
at her team members when they answer questions wrong



radmad hopes she gets invited back

here is a list
of things i love...

- watching a burning red sunrise
- the feeling of ache after a long hard run
- watching my sister open her presents



- sharing a bottle of wine with new friends
and realizing why you choose to no longer keep
in touch with neurotic ones of the past
- belting out a song and thinking it sounds much
better than it actually does
- finding ways to make life more simple
- spooning with madison under the covers



- chocolate covered anything
- finishing a project at work
- shaving my legs and crawling into clean sheets



things i hate...



eric banna

i found the best christmas card
EVER

don't laugh
you might be getting one of them
i bought a box of 12

i'm not sure at what point
or in which year it happened
but i'm now past the "me, me, me"
of christmas

it's now more about the giving
and less about the receiving
seriously
completely gay
but true

i got the rabbit pearl vibrator
for my boss
the girl at the sexxxshop
says that it gives an orgasm in 15 seconds
and that it eliminates the need for a man
holy shit

sj won't let me get one

neil is one of my alltime favourites
i finally got my hands on a sweet roake cd
with sweet caroline
i think i'll snap out a melody
when my pops comes over for dinner tonight

i think i may have to load neily d
on my ipod now

perfect
it won't shed
and it don't need food

the liquor store sells pre-made
butterscotch and vanilla shots
so we gottem, drankem and oo'd and ah'd
at em

i hate the feeling of booze sitting in your belly
the day after yet another party
i almost puked doing a downward dog
in yoga class

i actually feel ick enough to not want chocolate
right now
this momentary lapse of "wha, no chocolate?
what the fuk is wrong with my insides"
is likely to pass
i think i may have to crack into some candies
i have already wrapped
i did that
wrapped goodies i got for people so i wouldn't eat them
like that is going to fool me
i'm onto my little plan
and i think it is just about to be thwarted



the pooch is getting a stuffed turtle
for christmas

hey griswald...
where you gonna put a tree that big?

bend over and i'll show you

our artsy fartsy neighbour

was up to his crazy ways with the moving gif again
just glad the camera doesn't have xray eyes
ala superman

who has released a box set
of his three movies
and no none of them have the man of steel
fighting lex
in a wheelchair



i pulled out some fancy little sex-me-up panties last night
red lacy skirt number
i hope santa wasn't watching the naughtiness

if nothing else
our christmas party on saturday
will taste delicious

i am taking tomorrow off to bake cookies
today i bought ingredients
icing
food colouring
piping bags
cookie cutters
a cooling rack
fancy ball decorations
sprinkles



a client brought in some cookies today
they are on my boss's desk
it is taking everything within the depths
of my carnage
not to eat them

little fuk'rs are calling my name

tonight me and sj are gonna get drunk
off red wine
decorating our tree
it's humungous
and we only have enough decorations for half of it

oh and my boss told me what she wants me to get her
for christmas
another "massager"
seems she burned the first one out

this morning is the santa shuffle
5k run
apparantly it's not a race
cause there are no timing chips
fuk that i say
i'm gonna whirl the festive loving
kris kringle santa hats
right off the heads of doddlers
as i whiz by
wheeeeeeeeee

then off to ellicottville
to play in the pretty snow
and see two pretty girls
and their wop

ps. to my sister...
who won't return my phone calls
if you are reading this
it is now december 3rd
and i you aren't going to give me an advent calendar
like you promised
then at least let me know
so i can start eating sj's