radmad.ca

so i applied to cityline's
contest
for toronto's next top model

on a whimsical flare

i'm pretty sure
my appy won't make it past the first online page
i'm probably vertically challenged by about 5inches

and my response to
who is your favourite supermodel and why

was that i don't have one

well i don't
but i gave a longwinded reason why
and blah blah all models are unique
blah inner strength blah
commitment to health blah

and the pictures i submitted
a head shot
and what radmad has come to post
as a body shot
are likely not what they
are looking for

better that it not work out anyhow
i don't want to be one of those girls
that doesn't eat french fries
for real
but has to eat them because
everyone thinks she starves herself
so she eats french fries to assure them she doesn't
but in reality really just has no desire
to eat them anyways

ever had a date square
as good as the one i just ate?

didn't think so.

bellydancing classes start wednesday

i've carried around this thought
for a couple of years now
and i voiced it for the first time ever
to sj
in an IKEA restaurant
a couple weeks ago

what would be the net effect
if you were working out on a machine
at the gym
and all of a sudden
the combined effect of all the
workout activities
that were happening at that time
were infused into your body



i know that technically
physiologically
biologically blah blah
you'd be all dead
but if you didn't die
and you could take it all in

that would be a shitload of calories lost
then you could even go into mcdonalds
and do the same thing
with all the people eating bigmacs and fries
and other greasy shit

then you'd put lots back on
but if you didn't go to mcdonalds
but subway instead
and not even a busy one

then you'd be super fit



and people would make fun of you
and all your thin ness
while they garfed down a supersized meal deal

so i've been kinda
introverting
from the world lately

laying low
waiting
counting the days
until the winter decides to fuk right off

i like to think of it as refueling
reenergizing
rejuvenating
recooperating
reusing
reducing
and being all excited about my life
in a quiet subtle kind of way

haven't taken many pics

here's an oldy circa 2001


fatter yet not without intense funk

been contemplating
the development and design of
an untapped product line

buy omega 3 / DHA milk and cheese
i have shares and they're doing shit
i wanna retire
and do fun, thoughtless things
especially on mondays
the rest of the week i'd go go go
be unstoppable
except when passing a second cup
then i'd stop for just a sec

i'm getting rid of my pc
upgrading from the circa 65
model
i'm currently tippy typing on

we're getting laptoppers at zee work

that will be nice

i hope my screen has space
for all my little coloured
sticky notes

and the picture of my bitch
sporting a batgirl costume
that has to come

so
i'm cleaning out my docs
it's like opening an old shoe box
that holds all your trinkets and notes

and there are pictures from years ago

this is me
age 18
picture taken professionally for a hair magazine
you know the bigass oversized ones in salons
that kind



holy big hair batman

i have other pics
they might show up here and there

i think they're great
the antichrist
charity telemarketers
that call and are all sweet
and nice and sugary

until you tell them you can't donate

click

how do these people not feel horrible

i know they have a tough job
and that there are likely 10 people
who are mad and abusive
for every person that actually donates

but i am always nice
and empathetic
and say that i would like to help
but really can't manage it at the present time

you'd think they would say "no problem, i understand
maybe next year"

but no
they simply say fine
or just hang up

i hate that

i feel kinda used



i also am wishing my stick of big red
hadn't just shattered onto my lap
geez
they are tempermental little suckers
when they reach 6months old

i'm movin to brooklyn
i gots to
westside needs the hip of my hop

anyone
who can formulate
violate
and annunciate
a rap
like words drip from a tap

'bout soap in da shower
has got da power

rad needs to represent

katie
you got my back?



i guess i just need a black fishnet shirt

it's almost over
winter is almost done

know how i know?

cause we booked our first camping weekend
of the summer

fuk mr. groundhog and his faded shadow
fuk mr. weatherman and his jaded outlook

i can see it now
bikini in the sun
sprawled out on a beachtowel
crown and d in one hand
lotion in the other

greta garbo sunglasses
adorning the visage
of a sunkissed cheek
and campfire glow

so me and da judge

are havin' another party





if you want a vip pass

email me the top two good reasons
you should be allowed
to get one

they're not sold in stores
and you can't win a gold foil covered one
in a bubble gum machine
as if it were a movie rental

at blockbuster

grapefruits

are sadly the least talked about fruit

yet

possibly one of the most delicious

it's like that time
when she bought a new shirt
the best one she'd found
since she could remember last

it was a jewel
a gem
and she looked dashing
and wanted everyone to see her glow in it

but instead
she kept it tucked away
hanging in the back of her closet

and she would forget about it
and then remember it was there
and smile
because it was going to amaze one day

so she kept saving it
anticipating the event she would
pull it over her head
and do her hair all messy nice

well that day came
and she wore it in bliss

along with two other girls

i can be so oblivious sometimes

rockin' rob
thinks we're social sluts
cause we talk to people
strangers
who look interesting

i started yappin to some guy at the Drake Motel
as usual

a cool night is when
you can go to a bar
with a bunch of people
and end up talking to
a whole new bunch of people
and then turn around and meet
a person who you didn't know
was in flicks

yeah so i was yapping
with that josh guy from threesome
i had no idea
never seen the movie
i guess that's when steven baldwin
hadn't yet packed on a pound
of idiocy on each hip

and then that josh guy from Metric

and joules the drummer too i guess

then i felt bad
so asked them if i was cramping
their style
cause they might want to be picking
up girls

cause the girls there are quite fine

but they said it's okay
and so i invited them to our party

i don't care who they are
they wait in line for the mic

it's back
and more badass than ever

aren't product developers
absolutely lame

bring back a classic
add a new brain freeze piece
and VOILA

a brand schpanking
new game

let's sell it to all the nostalgic chumps
who played it in their youth
so they can neatly stack it
next to their new friendship care bear
and dukes of hazzard movie ticket

so
enter chump

originally for jay from santa
who never showed for christmas
it sat and sat
and i waited and waited in anticipation
before maniacally unwrappin it this satr'day

yup
just as fuk'n fun as i remember it



high 5 hasbro!

so i have googly woogly
as my homepage
and given that i'm not terribly self obsessed
and maybe a bit self depracating at times
i've not listed c'est blog as a fav

and quite frankly to clicky click
there and scroll down there
and click
it's too much work

so thing is
when typing my radmad AKA name
i was always under the Radisson HOtel Madison
as the first link

well ya
i'm number one now baby

because there have to be tons
and oodles
and kallasle amounts of people
typing in radmad to find a hotel
heh

so i'm now just gonna sit back
and wait for Mr. Radisson to email me
asking if he can purchase
my url
or request that i change my name

but you know that can't happen
they just couldn't afford
to buy me out

although a trip to south africa
to swim with sharks
might be a nice trade