radmad.ca

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand


hum it
just hum the first verse at least
really
it might make you tingle
in warm spots
or at least make you
want to be driving down a long dirt road
with no map
and no destination

jan 27

I almost got ran over trying to get a pic of the Welcome to Kennet, home of Cheryl Crow sign yesterday,,you know how it is when you drive and snap. This camera is going to be the death of me. I missed the sign, got a empty bean field.

________________________________________________________

jan 28

RM,
I had to go back to Kennet today for a temporary crown.
Wholoa!!

yourcheezypal,
chance

i love turning the heat up
so hot
that when you reach two feet
from the olden white heaters
you feel warmth over your skin

and you can wear pretty pale
summery tank tops
right in the middle of the coldest moment
you have known

i think the fact that i'm scottish
and that is close to english
well except for the 'och
sound
that scots add before everything
and the fact that i am a girrrrrl
with heavy rollin' r's

is why
i seem to be waving
like the fuk'n queen of ing gland

and it kinda looks like i think
i'm the shit
and uncle douggie flew in
from the right to have
his picture taken
with me
cause i'm queen shit

but what really happened is
that i'm a knob
and i wave like one

and well
we were all on our way to the store
to get a big ass pumpkin pie
at the only grocery store in town
so that i could proceed
to eat
oh
about 95% of it

this weekend past
i aged gracefully
for the twenty
ninth
year in a row

and then i proceeded
to try downhill skiing
for the first time ever
without lessons
or the ability to snowplow
or turn

it's true what they say
you know
about the shortest distance
being straight down
the fuk'n hill



at one point i was going
down the marde gras slope
and i bailed so bad
that the peeps in the lifts
way up high were yelling down
ooooooooooooooh eeeeeeeeek
are you okay????

i have a bruise on my ass
that looks like a magic marker
was swirled in a circle over
and over and scribbled deep

even the lacy racy
little black panty number
couldn't do it justice

the fun part about getting your hair
cut
is that you get to play around
experiment
and find out what doesn't work
this morning
case and point

in a frazzled rush not to be late
for a client
i quick snap blow dried my hair

the kind of blow dry
where you russle and tussle your hair about
throwing it hear and rubbing it there

well when hot black chick uses a razor
and not one scissor snip
the hair tends to whisp

which is crazy cool when the hair
dries au naturel
on it's own
solo

today
blower dry + snow =



but brown

ew

dear snow,

please stop

it would seem that the relationship
shared between daisy duke and jessie
is much like the one that originated
with smurfette and papa smurf

sometimes
just sometimes
intellect and wisdom exceeds sex
in a woman's list of attributes
she desires in a man
and well
if you are lucky enough to be able
to satisfy yourself sexually
well then there you have it

and it would seem that smurfette's
littly bitty outfit
would facilitate this assexuality

i bet she goes commando


and if you weren't sure
yes korn's word up is cool

who goes to the mod club
and doesn't dance?

apparantly me

i wanted to
it crossed my mind
amidst my yapping
about 30 times throughout the night

but it just never materialized
into anything resembling a groove

badass black vixen
with the hot fro and sex'd toos
that masters the third chair
at Coupe Bizzarre on Queen West
had her way with my mop again



and then
at when night fell even harder
rob
who was in the big big new yc
to record his band's cd
came out to play and do fun things

so... yeah
after loft
we came back to the roakehut

that's right

and then we sang our whackthroatsoff
until six o'clock
in the morn

it has to go down
as one of the surrealist
nights ever
oh ever

friends from brantford
came to tdot on thursday
they were ramped and ready
and the night was right
for an eve of indulgence

so we caught Oliver Black
at the Bovine Sex club
up the street
no farther than $8.25
with sandeet our chauffer of style

then stirred from our sleep
in the wee hours of 4am
to the russle and bussle of
ummm
a parkdale hooker in our latrine

dave i will change your name
to protect your innocence
but your drunken debautchery
and voyage to oblivian
really was something to crack
a wideass grin and giggle bout

funny what a boy on the sauce
will not even know he is doing

it's okay though
nakedness galore
you were rescued from what you
didn't even know was about to happen
you have to watch the veterns though
they are slippery little suckers

like leeches
they attach and follow you to your crash pad

i do have one request though dave

should you ever again
happen to cross paths with your
turquoise cableknit clad lady of le soir

please ask her to enjoy
the Outrageous hair conditioner
that she scooped from our shower

i wish my world
allowed for 25 hour days
whenever i wanted them

like today
when i'm too busy to even
go get a cookie from tim hardon's

and i've wasted at least
a bunch of important minutes
dislodging snot from my nose

and work has kinda made me irk
from having a million people
waiting for this
and wanting a revision to that

and all i want
is to sprawl out like a starfish
on the brand spanking
sexifying extra roll around space
new huge fluffy bed
that's calling me

radmad

raaaadmad

raaaaaaadmaaaaadddddd

note:
don't try to make peanut butter cookies
using only pb, sweetener and an egg
it won't work
they won't taste good

whenever a girl
gets to wear her good
ol' fashioned cfm boots
she knows the night can
be nothing but grand



bars that are small enough
to yell across
and be heard
are just the kinda bars
that serve absynth
just not to me please



and have the awesomest
badassest servers
like this guy



and let the likes
of these troublemakers
through the door
the j-men



soemtimes it's better
not to be remembered
from weeks past
as the tart in the green felt hat
being all retarded
and playing pool
she thinks



and if you're gonna pose for the
clicky click machine
be prepared for what might
come of it

that's right
i'm master of this obscure domain

no muppets were killed
in the making of this jacked

if it is written in the stars
then what does it mean
when the sky looks like
it no longer holds onto them?

i'm not sure if astrology
holds any more water
than simply flipping a coin
but it has a mathematical undertow
that always intrigues
a scientific mind

or a girl that has a crush
and wants to know if
true love will ensue

are we really the people
our signs say we are
or are we just hoping
to gain a better understanding
of ourselves

original and inventive
independent and intellectual
perverse and unpredictable
yes the age of aquarius
is alive and well in me

exposed

in not so many words...

yo sista

why the fak
you buy me this atroticity of a collar?
why wouldya wanna make me light
up like that freakin
waterfalls seven wonder
tricolour headlight
tourist eyesore?



you don't really need
to see my ass run off
in the distance
i'm not takin off
for krist's sake

and good gawd
i know i'm cute
and adorable and fuk'n funny
but it's sunday
i'm trying to take a damn nap

you've been intruding
on my me time for the past week
leave me the sweet crap alone
and put that flashy device away
or i'll give you a moment to capture
alright



and oh yes
one more thing while you can hear me

those leathery strips that you
try to pass off as bacon
is no where near what you
had with your eggs this mornin

if you want me to dance around
and do tricks and sing
and play the violin
then dangle one of those real
fuk'n bad boys at my nose

otherwise
back off
and hand me the remote

benji's on a 8

home of our new years fun
and where we meet for brunch
and where black photographicals
chat bout hoops and big cities

home of where they hand out
magical wands
that purr from midst the sheets
and make girls eyes flicker and squint



home of where we can't go in
without getting a complimentary bevvie
and where they project image on big screens
bigger than we could fit in our flat

home of where they play bang bang
shoot em up gun flicks
but rent pretty in pink
cause radmad wanted to see a chick flick



for once

cheers darlin



cheers to friends
the ones close to the heart
and those whose path i may never cross

cheers to working hard
and playing harder
and swifter and crazier

cheers to having the mind
and the thoughts that
others want to put on paper to share



cheers for singing just horribly enough
to have to contain the melodies
within my own haven of jive

cheers for taking care of my body
and learning that a long run by the beach
is just as good on the soul as the ass

cheers to falling into life
and into love this year past
and for finding an angel

and

cheers to the longest
yummiest and sexiest
new years kiss ever!