radmad.ca

i work
therefore
i am



still broke

she craves simplicity
she wants to breath it
strip away
the flannel and concrete
douse the asphixiation
inhale
dance on toes
barefeet
pick a daisy
the prettiest one
peel off the petals
this is where
she becomes unlaced

Hey my brotha?
Can I borrow a copy of your Go go soul train cd?



No my brotha, you have to go buy your own.

mr. christie
i have a request
can you please alter
your processing schedule
so that you are not blasting
delicious cookie smell into the air
while i am trying to crack down
on my fatty mcbig butt
it kinda makes me want to run faster
right into the arms of a bigass oreo



That'll never be me
That'll never be me
That'll never be me
Noooooo

Don't you ever think it!

sally's left eye



disclaimer:
circa 2002'ish
i'm more wrinkly now

so things were pretty fuk'n
surreal on my run this morning

there was a homeless guy
dressed to the tits
in what appeared to be a crisp
white dress shirt and
black tux pants
that were perfectly pressed
he smelled like the perfume counter
at the Bay

homeless stud emerged from under a blanket
in the concrete vestibule
with the red shelter roof
the one where all of the homeless people
go into la la land for the night

i shit you not
he went to a better party
than i did last night

good for you fella!

i also saw
synchronize swimmers



in the sunnyside pool
breaking the water in perfect unison
to the haunting sounds of german opera
i think they were moving in slow motion
or maybe it was me
running like an old bloke
backwards while stretching

yeah there was also a dead pigeon
but he's old news
i sawer him yestermorn
he's been dead for ages
the X's in his eyes
are starting to fade now

yeah
this is gonna be a bassakwards
fuked up day
i can just tell

yup
i'm onto ya fuk'd up day
i can smell ya like
a fart in a car

i think one of the best things ever is
anticipation

that knowing
knowing that something is going to happen
something big
something that makes you smile
even when you are just thinking about it

something that no one can take away
yeah it's gonna be big...


that might just be
one of the best feelings ever

sally was a brat
sally played with barbies and made them furniture
sally wore skirts to school
sally cried when she got her first detention
sally wore green cords to a corey hart concert
sally was the clutsy girl in highschool
sally wanted to kiss toza siriski in grade 6
sally never did
sally wanted to have more friends
sally likes to make people smile
sally scraped her knees lots
sally lost her mom to cancer
sally likes to sing in the car
sally is fred's granddaughter
sally is ready to conquer the world
sally lives in parkdale in a 2 bedroom appartment
sally has french kissed a girl
sally was bored in Europe
sally has been a hair model
sally dated boys she met on the internet
sally has a job teaching people common sense stuff
sally is anything but calm
sally thinks she grew up in the wrong decade
sally finally looks good in a bikini
sally takes pictures of her left eye
sally is a lyrical junkie
sally is on fire
sally buys fashion magazines
sally wants to open her very own dog spa
sally has already trademarked the name
sally thought she was preggers
sally likes twizzlers. lots
sally wears second hand clothes
sally thinks paris hilton is dumb as nails
sally wants to wear a B cup again
sally cooked fish on a george forman this week
sally is in love


this is sally and her bitch

why thank you

i know you
not your name
but your game
i know the real you
cum to me or i'll cum to you




if you learn nothing today
know this

every girl on this lonely little planet
must own one of these bad boys

Go to on Queenie street or stay put and use your free finger to twiddle on this linky link

hey everybody
this is my dad



dad
this is everybody

you were there
watching
i was oblivious
you knew me
i knew of you
the white lights danced to zeppelin
i danced to the white lights
you were there
waiting

i am not a member of the nazi regime



i am therefore
at work obscenely early today

radmad is autographed and up for bid on eBay

so we went to club 279 a few fridays ago
to a Chilliwack after party
apparantly Chilliwack is a canadian band
that had like zilch hits through the 70's,
and somehow survived the 80's

i was standing at a table
with a bunch of fans
bearing mullets
and abundently clad in skid rock attire

they were giddy
as they asked for autographs
on their vinyls
and t-shirts and caps

i had none of these
just a clean slate of skin
so i asked one of the more
burly and unkept looking gentlemen
if he would be so kind as to sign me

i don't know why i did it

i asked him what they sang
it was amusing
watching a guy become guy smiley
a guy who looks like he belongs
behind the wheel of a bigrig
as he broke out into song

so...showing little reluctance
he pulled out a glittery silver pen
and gave me his john henry

i went home
and i clicky clicked on a website to see
which of the one-hit wonderflies
writ on meh.

it would appear that there is
no bandmember, past or present
that has that name



good one mr. roadie
you asshat

so what does a band
that has been rockin for 25 years
and with over 30 million albums sold
do when they are struggling to survive
the 7 year death of their poster boy
lead singer?

they do this

there is nothing left
even reality
can now be produced

george orwell, do you have cable?

There is nothing more graceful
than catching your stride
while running through the morning rain mist
along the beachfront boardwalk

and then falling on your ass.

these guys know what i'm sayin'

Dear daddy,

do you remember when i was a little girl? 
We were camping at our trailer.
i think i was 8 and had pigtails.
it was right around the time i learned to blow bubbles with my bubblegum.
well you had a friend who's name i didn't hear.
he had a receeding hairline.
and a brown car.
you told me to go ride with him cause i would like the wind blowing.
i did.
and i also liked the sound of the motor as is ate through the dirt roads
it even skidded a bit.
i think you might have been scared for me.
he drove pretty crazy.
well.
i'm old now. 
maybe i'm going through a pre-something
or maybe it's a post-one.
but i want a car like your trailertrash friend had
i found one daddy.
it's real nice.
it has a 454 big block engine.
don't you think i will look pretty driving it?
won't do winter real good.
so i may have to move to vancouver to drive it

i'll miss you.

Come in.
Every night you enter me like a criminal
You break into my brain
But you're no ordinary criminal
You put up your feet and you pop a pepsi
You start to party
You turn up my stereo
Songs I've never heard but I move anyway.
You get me crazy
I say "Do it"
I don't care what
Just do it
Jam me, jack me
Push me, pull me
talk hard